EasyDestress Blog

March 2009	Page 1 Of 1

What Causes Phobias? Posted On 2009-03-30 , 3:29 PM In your search for what causes phobias, you may well be tempted to look at something directly connected to the phobia, that's logical. Unfortunately, what causes phobias is completely irrational. The interesting thing is that often you don't deal with your phobia until it becomes really painful and you HAVE to deal with it. Like the man who had a fear of heights and, having a change of partner, was travelling to many cities which have a high point of interest to visit. It turned out to have its roots, as is often the case, in an unresolved incident from childhood, hardly remembered at all. His father lifted him up to look over a parapet, and his older brother was mercilessly taunting him, as siblings will. A woman with fear of flying - the root was being shut in a cupboard by her brother when she was small! The first example has the father lifting the boy up, so the link to fear of heights is fairly obvious, but the second has little connection to the associated fear, except in her mind. There is a common thread here, though. In both cases they were angry in the causal situation, and had no ability to control the outcome. Using The Sedona Method, you can learn how to deal with feelings of apathy, grief, fear, lust, anger, and pride, as well as wanting control, wanting approval, and wanting to feel secure. These common emotions strongly influence our experience of the world. So perhaps the answer to 'what causes phobias?' is an unresolved angry incident when you were a child (usually - occasionally as an adult), or feelings of being unable to control something that happened to you. Unresolved feelings influence our lives so greatly, it behoves every one of us to unearth them and deal with them. Don't wait! All phobias are irrational and DO NOT protect you, quite the reverse as 'fear and it will appear' - Lester Levenson. Deal with them NOW! comment
How to Kill a Frog Posted On 2009-03-27 , 10:09 AM Please be reassured that no frogs were hurt as a result of this blog on How to Kill a Frog, as it's just a metaphor! So, to kill a frog, you don't try to drop it into boiling water, it would jump away. Instead you put it into cool water and then put the heat on underneath. The frog will adjust to the temperature again and again, until it's too late to get out, and that's how to kill a frog. So why should that interest you? Well, the truth is our uncomfortable situations have grown up on us slowly like that heat, and we don't notice how bad it is. Sometimes someone else will say something, and it brings it to your attention, but generally we get comfortable in our suffering and can't imagine that we could have a life without it. So relax your reactions when someone tells you something about yourself. Maybe it was you subtly speaking to yourself via someone else's conversation. Also, letting go has to be done by you, but it may not be easy, or even possible, to do on your own - so get help! If you can, take a step back and look at your life objectively. Is the pain and discomfort that's there something you're just accustomed to? Could anyone else live with that particular discomfort or would they have to take action to end it? How well do you stand up for yourself in that particular situation? When you begin to really see it for what it is, you can work out how to kill that frog in your life and set yourself free. There are two ways between A and B, one is to take the bus or train, the other is to take a cab! How fast you go is up to you - use a registered therapist, or buy an appropriate hypnosis CD or book. Start Living the Life You Deserve with Brian Tracy's The Ultimate Goal Achieving Package. Learn How Today! comment
Motivation for Safer Driving Posted On 2009-03-24 , 3:17 PM You decide to set motivation for safer driving as your goal. So, you're driving along, stuck in a traffic jam, the traffic in the next lane is going faster than your lane, but you know that further up, that lane has to turn off in a set direction, so you don't jump lanes. A snail would beat you, you're going so slowly! Then you come to the traffic lights and find that road-works are blocking the OTHER lane, and all the cars in that lane were getting in before you, and that snail beat you to the traffic lights! So, as you have your motivation for safer driving, what can you do? Well, in order to be bored, you have to filter out loads of stimuli around you. Use your senses, what can you see, hear, feel, smell? What's the weather like? Is there a good view around? In your quest for motivation for safer driving, you determine to stay calm no matter what. You use breathing and relaxation techniques. You look out at any focal point, and then relax your eyesight to peripheral vision and feel connected to things and people around you. Don't take yourself into hypnosis now! Adding stress to the situation does not help. It was once said the place for drama is on stage. Remain calm and breathing deeply. Behave as if it's a film and the delay is staged and will come to an end as soon as this scene is done. Keep breathing calmly and noticing what is going on around you. Nothing you can do will make it go any quicker, and instead of driving frazzled and arriving tired and stressed, just keep your cool. Can you phone ahead (using your blue tooth of course) and warn someone you'll be late. Staying cool, calm, and collected is vital in your motivation for safer driving. Don't slip into thinking of the past, the future, or being elsewhere, that's giving your power away to the traffic jam. You are on a motivation for safer driving initiative. Keep yourself and your breathing calm to bring your attention back to when and where you are. You will remain in your power. comment
What is Stress? Posted On 2009-03-19 , 10:42 AM Stress is short for Distress. There is a mistaken idea around that suggests that we need some stress in our lives. When you are considering stress reduction, consider that there is another way to live without stress and drive. We certainly need to stretch ourselves, but that's stimulation, not stress. Genuine achievements happen when you stretch yourself by doing something you didn't think you could. One woman experienced that sense of achievement when she bought a cover for her car's back light and fitted it herself - not much of an accomplishment you might say, but it represented stretching herself. With the right techniques, you can reduce the stress of even stretching experiences or learning new skills. For example, many of you reading this will be drivers. You didn't always know how to drive, did you? No doubt when you first started driving you maybe felt overwhelmed with all the things you had to do at once. You started to learn what to do and bit by bit this unknown skill became yours, and you end up driving on automatic pilot, don't you? After you pass your driving exam you learn to drive all over again - by yourself. There was once a program where a roadside burger seller was invited to 'fake it' as a trained chef, supervising and directing of a group of trained chefs in a competition. Over six weeks of long days, studying and training by two top chefs plus specific acting training, he fooled the competition judges - they thought the fake was another supervisor! Although it was hard going, and he had to learn some skills of the trade, he expressed himself as a 'lucky bastard' to have had such an opportunity. Could he ever have gone back to just cooking burgers after that? Unlikely. But there is the concept of 'inner game', so here's another of the ways to relieve the stress of even learning a new skill. Train yourself to relax your muscles as you do a new activity, knowing that you will master the skill and become proficient at it. The 'Inner Game' principle suggests that inside you know how to do that skill already. The Universal knowledge is there, think of Wolfgang Mozart, who couldn't have learned what he did, it just came to him. That knowledge wings its way to you in itself is a basis for making a start and working on something. Choose any way to stretch yourself, because as you do it not only gets easier and quicker (and less stressful), but also it draws creativity to you. It's like that famous quote: How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. comment
March 2009	Page 1 Of 1